Miracle

I'm reading a novel called The Birth House by Ami McKay.

I'm not too far into it, but am enjoying it. At the end of the first chapter the narrator relays a poignant observation about the birth process and the nature of miracles. The passage itself is a bit long to be quoted in its entirety, but there was one sentence in particular that took my breath away and reached deep into my heart.  If you are familiar with my experience of pregnancy you will understand why.

"How a mother comes to love her child, her caring at all for this thing that's made her heavy, lopsided and slow, this thing that made her wish she were dead...that's the miracle."

It is by the grace of God and with His power that I, as a mother, love my child. A mother's love (and probably a father's too, but I can only speak to my own experience) can only be possible because of the love Our Heavenly Father has for us. My greatest fear during my pregnancy was that I would resent my child for my illness, but loving Seth is the easiest thing I have ever done. I don't struggle with it in the least and I thank Jesus for this miracle each day. I thank Him too that this woman put it into words for me.

Mineral Oil

This Christmas my sister and I were discussing eye makeup removers. We ended the discussion by determining that Mineral Oil would make a good one and we both resolved to try it. I bought some and relayed my experience via email to my sister.  Maybe you will benefit from this story.

"I bought some Mineral Oil a couple of days ago and thought since you wanted to buy some you might like to hear about my experience! First off, it was an adventure even trying to find the stuff in the grocery store!! Nobody I talked to knew where it was. Finally someone called a manager and she told us where to find it: in the Pharmacy section next to the Miralax. Apparently Mineral Oil is a laxative. People drink it. SICK. Oh well, at least I found it and it was only $3 for a huge bottle. Sweet. Getting it home was uneventful. Once home I poked a hole in the seal, squeezed a little out onto my cotton ball and noticed something funny.  This was astoundingly thick oil. It came out as what can only be described as a "dollop." This is a word I would never think could be associated with an oil -- well, learn something new everyday I suppose. I looked at the bottle and saw something I had not noticed in the grocery store. This was "Extra Heavy" Mineral Oil. Oops. I don't even know if they sold any other kind of Mineral Oil. Oh well -- dollop or not I smeared it on my eyes to get rid of my mascara. It removed the mascara like a dream. GREAT! While admiring my newly cleaned skin in the mirror something strange started to happen. My vision got blurry and my eyes started burning! I used another cotton ball to make sure I had gotten all the goop off my eyes. My eyes slowly stopped burning but for the rest of the day my vision was still blurry. Thinking this was perhaps a freak occurrence I used the Mineral Oil again the next day -- taking care not to use too much - but the same thing happened! Knowing me I'll probably use it again tonight just because it removes mascara so well and I don't having anything else in the house. We'll see. So Sister, take what you will from my story, but I believe it has to be said -- "always be careful when smearing a laxative on your face."

Success!

Well, thanks to a nasty case of food poisoning I have been at my goal weight since 2 days after my last post. Amazing.

Here are (some of) Juli's tried and true Weight Watchers tips:

• Keep pickles around (I like baby dills the best). They satisfy a hankering for salt and they have a 0 points value.

• Find a cereal that satisfies your sugar craving. You know those cereals your mom never let you eat for breakfast? Weeeelllllllll....eat them for dessert! Instead of baking up a batch of high-points cookies, brownies or other sugar coated sabotage, I like to whip out 3/4 cup - 1 cup of a sugary cereal. Enjoy dry for 2-3 points!

• Discover the bliss that is Teddy Grahams. 3 points for 24 of those little bears. I eat them piece by piece -- those poor Teddys don't have a chance. First the ears, then the arms, legs, head and last...the torso. It takes me almost 45 minutes to eat my 3 points worth and I enjoy every minute of it!

• Buy corn tortillas and salsa. Take 2 corn tortillas and dampen them with water. Use a pizza cutter to cut them into "chips." Place "chips" on a baking sheet.  Sprinkle chips with salt (you dampened them so the salt would stick). Put into a 400 degree oven and remove when crispy. Enjoy with salsa for a 1 point snack!

• Don't beat yourself up.  If you're a Bible reader you'll recognize "kindness leads to repentance." If you don't do as well one day as you'd like to, there's always the next. If something tempts you beyond your ability to control, be kind to yourself. Remind yourself of all the good you've done and that you can start making better choices right then.

• Give yourself permission to throw away food. This is one of the most powerful tools I've found. If the bag of chocolate chips in the cupboard is too tempting to me, I've been known to throw it out. The way I look at it, I've already paid for it and there's no getting my money back. Now my money can either go toward a) making me fat(ter) or b) increasing my self control. I'll choose option B, thank you very much.

• Identify problem foods and AVOID AVOID AVOID. This goes along with throwing out food. I have lots of foods that I have SERIOUS trouble controlling myself around. Cookies for example. If cookies come into my house I can inhale the entire plate of them before the aroma leaves the air. So I don't make cookies. If cookies are given to me (and for some reason I can't say "no thank you" I take them out of the packaging and throw them away....yes, I take them out of the packaging before they go in the trash so I won't be tempted to take the package out of the garbage. AVOIDing can mean taking serious action.

• Identify safe foods and take heart in the fact that you CAN control yourself around these foods. Brownies are a prime example for me. My husband loves brownies. About once a month I get out my double boiler and make him a batch of brownies from scratch. The pan sits on the counter for about a week and I may have one or two over the course of the week, but I don't overdo it. It's not that the brownies aren't delicious...they are downright divine. It's just that I can be reasonable about them. I don't know what makes them different than cookies, but they are. And it gives me great confidence to know that I have power over delicious homemade brownies...this confidence then fuels my ability to control myself around and/or AVOID my problem foods.

• Remind yourself of your motivation. Do you want to fit into a size 8? Lower your BMI to healthy range? Climb a mountain? Whatever it is, write it down -- post it on your bathroom mirror, on your steering wheel, over the kitchen sink, everywhere. It really helps. My motivation stares me in the face almost every minute of every day. My little Seth is my motivation. I know that as he grows he will consciously and unconsciously imitate me. And I want the eating patterns that he imitates to be healthy ones. I want to be a good example for my son and as his little sponge self follows me around everyday I am constantly reminded of my motivation.

Speak of the angel...my little one calls. That's all for now folks. Good luck.

 

5 more pounds!!

Holy moly!

I've been on a serious adventure for the last 2 1/2 months. 

Weight Watchers has been my guide.

On this adventure I've learned that I truly have the power to shape my body, I don't have to eat to express my feelings, I can create DELICIOUS, healthy meals and that I love the feeling of being thin more than I love the taste of french fries. (Not all the time, I don't want you to think that I'm under the impression that I'm superwoman) 

BUT I've lost 30 lbs since April, 20 since August and 40 since April of 2007. I now have 5 more pounds to go until I make my goal weight. I've gone from a size 14 to a size 6 and I've never felt better. 

When I say that I've never felt better I really mean it. I know you hear it all the time from people who've lost weight and to be honest I never really gave that statement much credit. I just always thought people said it because they liked being thinner. 

But its really a different kind of feeling better. Yes I have more energy and am more confident in the way my body looks but its more than that. I've been empowered. I've seen first hand that I can effect serious change. I don't have to fall victim to my cravings. I am in control of my food and that's liberating. 

Watch out world here comes skinny Juli!

sometimes i think too much

Nathan and Juli Prentice are officially homeowners. I am beyond excited to move into our new digs and will post pictures as soon as I have some. I'm especially excited about having trick-or-treaters come to our door on Halloween. I've already bought the candy and am determined to introduce myself to lots of moms in our new neighborhood. It's going to be great.

But with this new chapter in our life beginning it's hard for me not to be a little sad. Not sad that we're leaving behind the life of renting...the loud and nosy neighbors I can do without. I can also do without being able to hear whatever my husband is doing wherever I am in our apartment...a little privacy, or at least quiet time will be nice.

No, funnily enough I'm not sad about leaving the past behind. I'm sad about what the future may hold. 

Sheesh, Juli...how 'bout having some hope? Oh, well...some days are like this. 

Last night, when we had our first look at our house as official owners (we have our own keys!!) I looked at the four bedrooms in our new house and it suddenly seemed really possible that we may not fill one of those bedrooms with another child.  

When people ask me if we'll be having another I always say that I'm up in the air, but in my heart of hearts know that I want another, whatever the cost. I've never seriously considered the possibility of not having more. But today I am. And it's breaking my heart.

I stumbled across this blog today and I don't know if it's because their oldest's name is Seth, or because they had a little girl like Nathan and I have always talked about, or if its just the combination of lack of sleep with all the heavy emotional lifting that transition requires....but in reading this post I broke down. 

My heart aches with the possibility that our family won't have moments like this. I want Sethy to be a big brother. I want to have more than one set of little feet in the house, I want to love another person just as much as I love Seth. The experience of loving children as a mother is too amazing to not do again. If today is just a snapshot of the grief I'll feel if we officially decide not to have more children, buy stock in Kleenex. Seriously.

God has truly given us a gift in being able to bear children, to experience in part, the love he has for us as His children. The fullness of the love I have for Seth, in all its imperfection, inspires me to fathom the depths of the heart of God.  There are no words for what a phenomenal gift it is to be perfectly loved by the Creator of the Universe and the chance to gain deeper understanding of that love, even if it involves suffering through another pregnancy, is an incredible blessing.

I suppose only God knows what the future holds for the Prentice Family. I'll end just by thanking Him for that, and for letting me experience my love for Seth, no matter what He has in store for us. One is enough for now. :)

The Block Bully

Beware the Block Bully.

Sound the alarms. Put your babies to bed. Shore up your buttresses. The Block Bully is coming to town. Your building blocks are not safe.

You've been warned.

this is my first blog

i shouldn't be airing our personal business online. but i am. stay tuned.